Thursday, March 15, 2007

SOME MORE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

FOR WOMEN
Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.

FOR MEN
He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative
He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed
He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia
He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated
He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy
 
FOR STUDENTS
No one fails a class any more, he's merely "passing impaired."
You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."
Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
 
OTHERS
Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist 
Bald - comb-free, folically independent, follicularly challenged
Cheating - Academic Dishonesty
Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically 
Earthquake - geological correction
Fail - achieve a deficiency.

Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician 
Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers
Ignorant - factually unencumbered
Janitor - sanitation engineer
Klutz - kinesthetically challenged
Large Nose - nasally gifted
Messy - differently organized
Not with somebody at the moment - romantically challenged -
Off - energy-efficient
 
Paper Bag - processed tree carcass
Redneck - rustically inclined
Stained - creatively re-dyed
Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units
Ugly - Cosmetically different.
Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices
Whaler - Blubber Lover


2 comments:

twolf1920 said...

I am SO anti politically correct...But only if it serves my dark purposes!

SIMON said...

Dark purposes take priority hey?!
Whatever the correctness police say

Thanks for the visit twolf