Monday, July 31, 2006

WILKO NEWS TOUR SURPRISE!!!............

WELL WE PULLED IT OFF.........

Mainman, Devonish Entertainer and Wkd have returned from the planned trip to Hamsterjam and the viewing of CIRQUE DU SOLEIL(cirquedusoleil.com) amazing show, 'ALEGRIA' but not before we pulled the biggest and bestest surprise that the WILKO NEWS CREW have ever pulled off!!!!

All along unbeknown to Devonish, Rafman had been part of it and right up to our arrival at JLA the secret was kept. Rafman aided and assisted by everybody had convinced Devonish that he had to go to Scotia on an exercise and was getting a lift in the evening before we went.

Gutted loads that Bro couldn't come with us Devonish remained convinced of the plan until the Friday morning when we arrived at JLA ready for our afternoon flight to Hamsterjam.

To say he was pleased to have been conned is a serious understatement and his face told all the stories possible. I don't think his gob has ever been so smacked in his life and believe it or don't but he was quiet for a very short time - literally dumbfounded!

Anyway we are back now having had a time to really match the surprise - more about the trip at another time soon.

Friday, July 28, 2006

No explanation needed! Enjoy the heatwave.

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A REFLECTIVE FUTURE.

 
Well you see the thing is WILKO NEWS is today going on tour.....to Amsterdam so I thought that I would share with you a photograph that is typical and topical. One of my photies from 1990 called 'REFLECTIONS OF AMSTERDAM'. We may even try and recreate it, well it's a thought. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

RIAT 06

 
 
Two borrowed photies from the recent RIAT at Fairford, posted cos I can and coz they are really quite good! I would have taken those very ones had I been there but I wasn't! Posted by Picasa

LIVERPOOL, TOP GEAR, DANNY.....

 
 

Peugeot vs. running and jumping blokes
The French are clearly all mad. When they aren't building cars that are alive with technology, or that have gear sticks where the indicator is supposed to be, they are inventing new forms of sport. The latest of which seems to be jumping off things, and generally doing stuff that anyone over the age of 28 would never dream of doing.

Of course, there are quite a few people under the age of 28 who would be too terrified to try their hands at parkour (the art of running through a city, and leaping over obstacles in the way). But we managed to find a couple of chaps who were prepared to jump off roofs in Liverpool.
But what was the purpose of all this tomfoolery? Testing a Peugeot 207, obviously.
The 207 is like a 206, but bigger, with more toys bolted on. This, of course, means that the car weighs more, which in turn means it's a little less speedy than it's smaller brother. But you do get a huge glass roof, an mp3 player connection and satellite navigation.
To test the 207, we asked our parkour boys to do their thing across Liverpool. Meanwhile James battled against people going shopping and tried to get to the Liver building. You wouldn't have thought it possible to beat a car, especially with all the rolling around that seems to be involved in parkour but the boys did beat James. And found the time to lark about at the top of the Liver building too. Posted by Picasa

SAME AGE AS WKD? TOPS POLL.

The controversial 1989 promo prompted a huge public outcry and was condemned as blasphemous by the Vatican.

Like A Prayer topped an MTV poll to find the top 100 videos that broke the rules.

Madonna features three times in the top five.

Her Ray Of Light video is fourth in the list, with Vogue in fifth place.

Britney Spears is second with her 1999 debut Baby One More Time.

The video of Spears performing a raunchy dance routine dressed in school uniform made her a pop superstar.

Michael Jackson is third with Thriller.

The release of the zombie horror in 1983 was a global news event. Thriller still holds the record for the longest music video ever made.

Jacko`s duet with sister Janet on Scream, 12 years later - said to be the most expensive music promo in history - is sixth.

MTV commissioned the poll of more than 10,000 viewers to mark the channel`s 25th anniversary.

Robbie Williams` Rock DJ, seventh in the list, featured the pop star peeling off his own skin and was deemed so shocking that MTV could only broadcast it in its entirety after the 9pm watershed.

The leotard-wearing ladies working out in Eric Prydz video Call On Me were eighth.

Jamiroquai was ninth with Virtual Insanity, which appeared to show singer Jay Kay dancing in a room with moving walls.

The Spice Girls complete the top 10 with their debut hit Wannabe, unique in video history because it was filmed in one continuous take.

"25 years on from the birth of MTV, we can say that, contrary to all fears at the time, video definitely did not kill the radio star," said Mardi Caught, vice president of talent and music for MTV UK and Ireland.

"In fact, video has helped make music stars more vibrant, creative and impactful. Videos like Thriller and Like A Prayer aren`t just great promos - they`re pieces of pop history that broke new ground and are irrevocably wrapped up in how we perceive the artists themselves.

"And it`s great to see that the legacy of great video-making is very much alive and kicking with newer, more cheeky videos like Call On Me and Rock DJ being recognised too."

:: The full list will be unveiled in The Top 100 Videos That Broke The Rules which airs on MTV from 3.30pm on August 1.

Top 10 Videos That Broke The Rules
1. Madonna - Like A Prayer (1989)
2. Britney Spears - Baby One More Time (1999)
3. Michael Jackson - Thriller (1983)
4. Madonna - Ray Of Light (1998)
5. Madonna - Vogue (1988)
6. Michael and Janet Jackson - Scream (1995)
7. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ (2000)
8. Eric Prydz - Call On Me (2004)
9. Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity (1997)
10. Spice Girls - Wannabe (1996)

 

VERY SEXY LADY ON BEACH

 
 
 

Well E Readers it just has to be said but the sexiest female in the whole of the North West of the universe was on Hoylake beach today and Wilko News reporters were on the scene.
The Lady of Hilbre is Hoylake's fantastic lifeboat and is definitely the sexiest woman ever to roll on the beach, that's any beach. (ps if you wanted any more pics of this sexy beast just E mail me) Along with the neighbouring New Brighton boat 'Lady' was launched today (25/7) to attend to a sick boat just a couple of miles offshore. She wasn't really needed and she was soon back, posing on the foreshore and waiting to be washed. She is truly a pleasure to behold, or does that just make me very sad? More likely both!
A thought did strike me as I watched every minute of her post 'rescue' routine. There are still a lot of people visiting Hoylake, some golf thing or other on last week, did I tell you?! A lot of these people obviously come from non coastal areas and probably know nothing at all about lifeboats and the RNLI and certainly have never seen one. Especially one so sexy and launched across the beach, sometimes at low tide having to travel over a mile and a half before reaching the water. Maybe at future major events like the next time the golf comes(?) the RNLI should have an exercise scheduled so that these people can see a part of the work done and the wonder of seeing a real life saver at work. Posted by Picasa

BLONDE POLE DANCER

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THIS WILL GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS, IT DID ME!

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,
The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.
A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
She struggled to get free,
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
“Oh, God, don't let them die!"
Then firemen came and cut her loose,
But when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys,
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
And was travelling alone,
But when they turned to question her,
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
"Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match."
One cop spoke up, "They're in my car, "
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone,
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.”
I've searched the area high and low,
But I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene,
I guess, and that is very bad."
The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
"He could not flee the scene, you see,
"For he's been dead a year."
The cop just looked confused and
asked, "Now, how can that be true? "
The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came "
And left a kiss for you."
He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.
We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,
And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words,
"I will watch over you."
The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
An angel walked the beat tonight on
Highway 109.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Final OPEN bits!

Open set for swift return to Hoylake

THE Open is set to return to Wirral in less than a decade after a hugely successful competition at Hoylake.

Yesterday, the chief executive of the R&A Peter Dawson confirmed the course was back on the championship calendar.
He said: "We are announcing about five years ahead, but we have been impressed by the course, and not least by Wirral Council and Merseyside Police who have been fantastic.

Opens have been announced for Carnoustie next year, back on Merseyside for Royal Birkdale in 2008, Turnberry in 2009 and back to St Andrews in 2010. It is expected to return to the third North West course at Royal Lytham and St Annes and another Scottish course before returning to Wirral, making the earliest likely return date for Hoylake 2013.

The R&A also said they were pleased so many juniors had attended the event, with 21,000 young people among the 230,000 spectators. Under 16s had been able to get in for free when accompanied by an adult.

The success of the event was also recognised within Wirral, and the executive member for highways, Cllr Jeff Green, said: "I am delighted and very proud that the work the council did in supporting this event has born such marvellous fruits.
"The Open was supported by the entire authority and by very many local people. Its success was an exemplary team effort.
"We have always said we wanted to do more that just put on a fantastic Open and this vindicates the work of all parties in the council and in the borough."
In the short term, it is expected to generate between £57m-£60m to the region's immediate economy, from workers, visitors and media spending money in the vicinity, and could have a lasting impact as senior businessmen visited the area.

Wirral West MP Stephen Hesford said: "We have had the opportunity to show our area off and show that we can host this great event and we have done this with great success."

Sweet!

What it means?

Kiss on the belly-----"Lets have sex"
Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"
Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"
Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"
A wink ---"Let's get it on"
Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"
Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't let go"
Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completely Comfortable with you"

--Advice--

If your kissing someone, close your eyes.
It's not nice to stare.
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

R&A leave door Open for Hoylake

Jul 24 2006

Liverpool Echo

THE Royal and Ancient Club are hopeful that the Open championship will make a swift return to Hoylake after describing this year's event as "one of the best ever staged". The tournament returned to the Royal Liverpool course for the first time since 1967, and R&A chief executive Peter Dawson is certain it will not take another 39 years for it to come back. "We don't bind future committees, but we have seen absolutely nothing that would prevent us coming back, certainly before another 39 years have elapsed," Dawson said. "In our view it was a wonderful Open played on a course that was long overdue to host the Open. I think it will go down as one of the best we've ever staged."

More Open

 
The crowds over the week, an English record of 230,000, were knowledgeable, impeccably behaved, and only surpassed in number by the 2000 Open at St Andrews. They relished every moment of the action - it certainly won't be another 39 years before the Open graces Royal Liverpool.
As Tiger Woods said: "I think Hoylake is a fantastic test. With the golf course being this fast, it lent itself to just amazing creativity.
"Granted, if you would have had easier pins I'm sure it would have gone lower, but these are the most difficult pins I've ever seen at an Open Championship."
As to whether the event should return to Royal Liverpool, Tiger's response was an emphatic "yes". Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 24, 2006

SOME PIX FROM THE OPEN. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.

 
 
 
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OPEN CLOSED

Well it's all over.
Tiger wins!
It's all over and who'd have thought it but may be, just maybe, that some very negative people over the whole period are actually pleased to see it go.
As Hoylake returns to something like normal, though it will never be exactly the same again - it's time to look at some of the memories, good and bad!
I for one can't see anything that bad but that's me!
It has been a week of excesses on a lot of fronts.

The quality of the course and the outcome of a dramatic and exciting week of golf fully justified the decision to bring the world's oldest Championship back to one of Britain's most historic clubs. A total of 230,000 spectators flowed through the gates during the week, a record for an English course.

Saturday attendance figures were lower than the third day at St Andrews last year, but at 45,500 they have brought the total for the week to 185,000 compared with 176,500 for the same period at St Andrews

ps. I think that means that a total of 53,500 were present on the final day - Sunday

Pubs, bars, shops, trains, buses, helicopters, entrepreneurial spirit, golf, cars, 4X4's, taxis, people - all INXS (Spot the musical link)

I've had a fantastic week and there now follows some of my memories.............

The Top 10

1. Grambo hunting down her 'TIGER'!
2. Little girl overheard saying "Well HIS helicopter isn't there because HIS is orange and black"
3. The female of the species outside Wetherspoons on Saturday morning at 8.30am clearly looking like they had been there all the time since the Friday night!
4. Friend saying in Morrison's when seeing Des Lynham, "I thought you were dead!"
5. Rafman's amazing pick up of the rules of Golf!
6. Wkd's equally amazing pick up of the layout of the course without going near it!
7. The views from the 'mega' bridge over the roundabout.
8. Despite 'golf ruining a good walk' all the walking that has been done in the name of golf!
9. The sheer amount of people congregating at the junction of Albert Road and Market Street on each evening
10. Bacon sandwiches on a Sunday morning!

For political animals only
11. Stephen Hesford's question during PMQ's and TONY BLAIR's response


Wilko News acknowledgements could run to pages but I promise you it won't : Mike in the computer shop for making it a wifi zone and very extended hours as internet cafe ; Macoombs, the pet shop ; Stagecoach ; Wetherspoons ; Merseyrail ; The entire helicopter operation! ; the weather ; ALL THE OPEN MINDED AND POSITIVE PEOPLE OF HOYLAKE AND THE WIRRAL & THE HOYLAKE BUZZ!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

SATURDAY MORNING, HALF WAY, BRING IT ON!

Well HOYLAKE is kinda quiet right now. Like a sleeping monster. The double deck buses are pouring in about 5 in every fifteen minutes. Shortly it will be 9 or 10 in 15 minutes. The bars and cafes having only just recovered from a wild wild party night, some literally only a matter of hours ago slowly and gently open their doors to queues of silent hung over golfers prepared to pay the over priced breakfast menu.
I have to say though that one such establishment selling full english last sunday for 6.50 is this week selling the same fayre for only £5
America and South Africa are going to battle it out today on the course starting at 14.30 by then this beast that is the OPEN golf will be well awake and very likely to just keep on going until the claret jug is raised in to the air in victory in about 30 - 34 hours.
Let battle commence and I hope the local cafes and pubs etc don't run out of vital ammunition, food or drink.
To all the people that were negative about this battle royale - just half way through it will soon be over. Aren't you just a little bit sorry about backing a loser?
The Hoylake Buzz has arrived and it looks like it might be here for a very long time.
BRING IT ON!

SUNSET BEACH

 
NOT DISTURBED OR DISRUPTED BY THE OPEN HOYLAKE IS STILL ONE OF THE BEST PLACES FOR A LONG WAY AROUND TO SEE A SUNSET LIKE THIS ONE............... Posted by Picasa

Other Peoples Open!

A crowd of 38,000 golf fans descended on Hoylake on Thursday, a whole eight thousand more than witnessed the entire Open Championship the last time it was held here in 1967 and 500 more than at St Andrews last year.


Hoylake has its own answers to the postcard images at other Open venues. St. Andrews has the spires of the Auld Grey Town. Troon has the Isle of Arran. Hoylake has Hilbre, an island you can walk to at low tide. Just don't wade out: The tide is fierce, and so are the jumbo jellyfish. Seals frolic on the rocks near the wreck of the steamship Nestos, which ran aground in 1941. Hoylake's scenery can even top those nuclear reactor towers at Royal St. Georges; several miles off the coast is a clutch of gigantic, eco-friendly windmills. Those towering, three-bladed constructions spin lazily most of the time, but they whir when the offshore breeze sweeps toward the old links.
"Hoylake, blown upon by mighty winds, breeder of mighty champions." The Times of London golf correspondent Bernard Darwin, grandson of Charles, wrote that line when the course was among the most famous in golf. Now what's old is new again, at least to most Americans. There are no sure bets, given Hoylake's oft-wild weather and the oft-wild drivers of Tiger and Phil, but the 135th Open Championship is sure to be a bigger spectacle than the 96th. In '67 only 29,880 paying customers attended the Open; this year there'll be 9,000 a day in the stadium seats around the final green. As the World Cup proved, that many sporty Brits can make a mighty noise.


Hoylake has two stations - Hoylake and Manor Road - with the former being only a par-five away from the golf course........

About half of Royal Liverpool's 63 hectares are left in their natural state as a haven for wildlife. And amid all this untrammelled outdoors is a unique item of flora. The rough between the 11th and 14th holes is the only place in England you will find McKay's Horsetail. And no, I have no idea what it looks like. The course can also boast of a knab of rare natterjack toads.
(The R & A have even appointed, wait for it, A TOAD OFFICER!!!!!!!
No I didn't believe it..............................................................

Hoylake might lack nightclubs and cash points but it is well served in the public house department - La Bodega comes recommended as a potential spot for celeb-spotting, while The Lake, The Plasterers Arms and The Ship are suggested for more relaxing post-Open pints.

Hoylake's beach is one of Britain's top sites for sand yachting, which sounds like a lot of fun. The 2007 European Championships are going to be staged there. I have no idea if Hoylake was off their rota for nearly 40 years too.

The British Open (golf) is being held nearabouts, and according to the local news George Clooney has been spotted in a nearby watering hole. If the weather is not so distressingly hot tomorrow I might wander the streets to see if he has come back. Although I don't know that I want to see George Clooney in the scally-ridden poundshop environs of Hoylake; it might sully him.

MORE HOYLAKE OPEN RANDOMNESS

The other picture (below) by the way sums up 'RANDOMNESS' quite well! Three random buskers(?) were really very good and were seen entertaining the queues for the buses. They were just inside the property, which I'm sure at least one of them had some claim to but I'm sure it's a borderline case with regard to public performance?
However I'm not sure that there was anybody present who knew enough about the law to enforce any rules that they may have been breaking. Also I'm not sure that I or anybody else would have liked to have seen anything take place.

Ok so the saying for the day has been "When was the last time you saw ___________ in HOYLAKE?" Prompting of course the answer, "NEVER"
So here are just some of the things that we used that expression on, because Friday was the bestest ever day for BUZZ ever in Hoylake! Yes tomorrow will be better I'm sure but, hey who's counting?

1. 7 helicopters on the ground?
2. Any number of mega stretched limos together? We got to 5 in a row.
3. So many Stagecoach buses?
4. Changed in the evening to bright yellow double decker school buses together?
5. So many Mercedes vehicles?
6. Taxis?
7. Six carriage trains?
8. Police cars/dogs/horses/vehicles?
9. A Ferrari
10. Lexus, official car of the championship? Begging the question Is the plural of Lexus, LEXII?

"The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught."

RANDOM HOYLAKE

 
 
 
 
4 RANDOM PHOTOS BUT ALL THEMED AROUND, NO NOT THE BRITISH OPEN IN HOYLAKE......
THE DAY THAT RAFMAN AND MAINMAN DISCOVERED THE HELICOPTER OPERATION BOTH ON THE GROUND AND IN THE AIR, THAT'S THE HELICOPTERS NOT THE WILKO NEWS STAFF BY THE WAY!
THE SIGN IN THE WINDOW IS CLEVER AND RATHER TYPICAL, NOT TO MENTION TOPICAL! RAFMAN WAS HEARD TO COMMENT THAT IF THE WORD PLEASE HAD BEEN USED GC MAY BE MORE INCLINED TO VISIT. Posted by Picasa

Friday, July 21, 2006

GOOGLING GOOD TIME

Long time WILKO NEWS readers will know that there has always been a fair bit of googling going on and of course now is a perfect time for this sad occupation, every time I google I end up saying "Wow! The Internet is wonderful" but I tell you right now, googling will produce the biggest load of inaccurate non sense!

The city of HOYLAKE.......
I'm in Liverpool at Hoylake......
Hoylake, Cheshire............
Hoylake, Liverpool in Lancashire..............
The Royal Hoylake........


The most common one however is accurate but very bland,

HOYLAKE, ENGLAND.

However having said that there are now over 100,000 entries in a UK search on Google for HOYLAKE BRITISH OPEN and 27 pages of images. Mentions in every british paper every day and I have visited web sites all over the world to see how they describe our little bit of "England's Green and Pleasant...."

Washington Post, New York Times etc. etc. Absolutely big WOW! You can not tell me that there is anything at all negative about all this. Never anything wrong about being put on the map!

GOLF?

  Ok just to prove that there is some golf going on at the open here's a picture from the second tee! Oh who are they? C'mon now if you really want to know go on a golf site........ Posted by Picasa

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A BIT OF GLAM IN HOYLAKE

 
Regular viewers of BBC's Northwest Tonight will know that the person brightening up this page is Jayne Barrett. As for Mainman, well I might just start watching the proey! I did tonight!
Rafman on the other hand may be wishing he could get NWT when he gets back base side! Posted by Picasa

Unfortunate Name at the OPEN

Keiichiro FUKABORI

PRIME MINISTERS QUESTIONS WEDNESDAY 19TH JULY

Stephen Hesford (PPS (Rt Hon Baroness Amos, President of the Council), Privy Council Office, Wirral West, Labour)

My right hon. Friend will know that the 135th open golf championship is due to start in my constituency tomorrow. This is the first time in nearly 40 years that the championship has taken place at Hoylake. Will my right hon. Friend join me in congratulating the partners who brought that about—the Royal and Ancient and Royal Liverpool golf clubs, and the Labour-led Wirral borough council?

Tony Blair (Prime Minister)

Yes, I certainly give my congratulations to everyone at Hoylake, and on all that they have done to bring the open there. I wish everyone the best of luck.

THE PIC SAYS IT ALL

 
BULLSHIT! Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

HOT HOYLAKE OPEN TO ALL

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Hoylake welcomes the OPEN and everybody

 
IT WAS OUTSIDE THIS PUB IN HOYLAKE WHERE GEORGE CLOONEY SAT ON SUNDAY NIGHT! THERE OF COURSE HAVE BEEN MANY OTHER RUMOURS ABOUT LOADS OF OTHER CELEBRITIES AND BY THE END OF THE WEEK WE WILL HAVE A BETTER IDEA, BUT GEORGE CLOONEY IS THE FIRST RUMOUR TO BE CONFIRMED. WATCH THIS SPACE! Posted by Picasa

the picture is taken from the Wilko News head office in Market Street, Hoylake.

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Everywhere is OPEN! Wonder why?!

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Various Golf and non Golf related 'OPEN' Pictures 1

 
 
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Sunday, July 16, 2006

 
DID I TELL YOU THAT THE OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP IS BEING HELD IN HOYLAKE? Posted by Picasa