Tuesday, October 16, 2007

QUESTIONS THAT HAVE CONFUSED HUMANKIND

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

22 comments:

Lady in red said...

hmmm yes I think I get your drift lmao

EBEZP said...

Thank you Lady!!

jillie said...

Enquiring minds want to know!! Who would of thunk that soaking olives in lye would have made them safe to eat??

EBEZP said...

Jillie you make me laugh, thanks!!

Valyna said...

Definitely good questions to ponder... I've personally wondered many of those things myself.

Big Pissy said...

All good questions.....

Let me know if you find out any answers! ;-)

Emma said...

Lol Si I love the dog one and so true..xx

Autumn Storm said...

:-D

Answer to the last one, resounding yes. Works for crossings too and the volume button on the remote. The Disney one was hilarious. And I cannot believe I never noticed the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle had the same tune.

Thanks for the enlightenment
& the fun.
:-)

EBEZP said...

Valyna...I could almost have guessed that!! Many an hour wasted away through pondering hey?

Will do BP!!

One of the truest there Em!

You'll never forget it now though will you....twinkle twinkle HIJKLMNOP!!!
Oh and the last one yeah...lol!!
Thanks Autumn.

Gina said...

These are questions that have confounded everyone at some point in time. Thanks for reminding me to think about them! LOL

Keshi said...

hahaha some really funny ones!

**Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

I hv a light in each of em LOL!

Keshi.

JLee said...

hahaha...VERY thought provoking!

wisdomstuff said...

Because I want to control the elevator, not have it control me!

Palm Springs Savant said...

All pressing questions to ponder...love things like this!

grace said...

Those were great, I think I have asked those questions myself!!

Sugar Smacks said...

OMG, this is one of my favorite posts ever. Very entertaining...

I have something to add! Baa Baa Black Sheep can be included in the shared melody of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the ABC song!

Thanks for the giggles ebezp

Jules said...

How come in all my life I never noticed there was no light in the freezer??

EBEZP said...

Gina they are aren't they, thanks!

Keshi, typical!

Jlee, thanks

Interesting wisdom....very interesting!!

Cheers Rick

I guess we all have Grace, thanks

SS thanks I hadnt realised that, lol!

CJ you hadn't? Oh!!

Azzitizz said...

BUGGA!!!!!!!

I'm having a 'scrambled eggy brain' day and then I go and read this post!

Can't cope.....can't cope.....overload.....

*!##@*#PZZZZZZZZZTT!

(Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible)

EBEZP said...

Hi Azzi, scrambled eggy brain ....lol!! Does that mean you liked it?

Azzitizz said...

ebezp,
Of course I liked it! Bloody brilliant! Wha, ha, ha!
:)

EBEZP said...

Thanks Azzi!!!