Friday, June 22, 2007

Well seemingly the lap top although it was an assett with me in Paris is equally not prepared to download any pictures to this blog though it will to The Gutter Press, looks like I've got some IT work to do then doesn't it? So it might not be Take Five Friday by the time it's sorted. Maybe Tke Five Friday on Saturday! It's actually more than likely blogger and not the lap top anyway.


In the meantime then :
HOW TO PISS PEOPLE OFF

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.

4 comments:

Lee Ann said...

Hey AM!
Are you still in fabulous Paris?
I say that by reputation only, I have never been myself!

Have a wonderful weekend.
~xo

josh williams said...

Sage advise. I will print 200 copies and hand them out on the street. Kind Regards JW

Palm Springs Savant said...

that is a GREAT list btw. fun blog too! stop by and say hi sometime

EBEZP said...

Oh BG, just say the word!! I'll show you round and think of the fun we could have at Disney.

Josh that's so fantastically crazy it might even work. Thanks. LOL

Thank you we do try! I will be over and you make sure you come back.