SO WE ARE BACK FROM POLAND

............WOW. KRACOW WAS ABS FAB!
650 PHOTOS HAS GOT TO BE GOOD HASN'T IT? Well it's my way of telling how good a break it was, may not be others but it is mine and it's my blogspot.
Easyjet as ever were really very good and as they say themselves, "Easyjet appreciate you have a choice and thank you for choosing Easyjet!"

Hotel Royal, because it's right opposite the castle, clever these Poles hey? was the cheapest, poshest, grandest hotel you could wish to stay in. Built in 1898 and proud of it. Wkd's quote to be used here,

"Oppulent eleegance of a bygone age"

and it's so right! Fantastic! A chandelier in the bedroom yes it's true! Wonderful ancient castle right outside front door.

A huge part of Kracow is a World Heritage Site as is the salt mine in Wieliczka and Auschwitz (both visited in our five day trip - yes we did pack it in!) so quite understandably the whole Kracow experience is a historical one, oh yes it's a religious one as well.....so much so that you get to saying, "Oh my God, another F*ckin' church" and we did, a lot. Always felt sort of guilty saying it and it is strictly ungrandmafied but hey.........

By a seminary ironically situated on the extreme edge of the Jewish quarter at a break in their proceedings, loads, possibly 30, poured out on to the pavement in front of us, all lighting up cigarettes, Mainman was heard to say, on reflection somewhat inappropriately, "HELLS BELLS!"

Walking back to the hotel around about 10.30 we could hear the sound of

'high jinx' behind us. Some young yobs with a can kicking it along the street, making lots of noise, shouting in Polish and obviously a little worse for wear from the local potato brew, wodka but then can you imagine the surprise when we realised that they were all wearing cassocks and dog collars and they were returning to the seminary! Maybe the real irony is that they were probably in trouble for being late and for all we knew they would have to be in sack cloth and ashes for the next three weeks.

"I've never seen so many dog collars, not on dogs"

Mainman even witnessed for the very first time in his life......

a couple of pretty nuns!

WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?!

It must be said though that there is a kind of security in knowing that every church you visit is of the same denomination, catholic. In this country you can be really hard pushed to know whether you are in a United Reform, Anglican, Methodist, one time catholic church let alone cathedral! So if it's not a synagogue it's catholic! By the end of the trip though a little bit of of overkill with wretched catholicism! Oh and Pope John Paul 2! Say no more. Yes I know he was Polish and I know he was Archbishop of Kracow yes the airport is renamed JOHN PAUL 2, but please give it a rest! If you ever visit, which I strongly suggest you do, you'll know what I mean, honest.

With the history and the religion of course comes the urban legend and myth which the Poles are really good at. So good in fact that it is very difficult to seperate one from the other and from the truth. So the emblem of the city is a dragon! However the Dragon's Den is closed through the winter and the gas for the dragon sculpture's firey breath is rationed but at least you can partly buy in to the 'dream' with the souvenirs and the hostelry's named after it.

BLOGGY HIGHLIGHTS.........

URBAN LEGEND ACTUALLY SURROUNDS THE PIDGEONS! THEY ARE FED REGULARLY AND ARE NOT TREATED AS VERMIN, THEY EVEN HAVE BROWN ONES! THEY ARE STILL VERMIN THOUGH!

BIG R! THERE ARE NO SEAGULLS. NOT REALLY THAT SURPRISING AS IT IS A LONG WAY FROM THE SEA! HOWEVER THERE ARE LOTS OF BIG BLACK BIRDS!

THE HOTEL HAD A VERY NOISY BUDGIE. WHY? I SWEAR IT WAS LUCKY NOT TO BE STRANGLED!ON A VERY SERIOUS NOTE THE ONLY BIRDS AROUND THE WHOLE COMPLEX OF AUSCHWITZ 1 AND AUSCHWITZ 2/BIRKENAU ARE CROWS. I GUESS THEY CAN SMELL THE DEATH OF DECADES.

ALCOHOLE IS POLISH FOR OFF LICENCE!

DUMPLINGS ARE SOLD BY WEIGHT

IN RESTAURANTS THE COFFEE IS NEARLY ALWAYS DEARER THAN WINE.

WAY BACK HISTORICALLY SWEDEN ATTEMPTED AN INVASION OF POLAND. ??????? THE ONLY THING LEFT OF THAT BIT OF PUZZLING HISTORY HAS BEEN LEFT WITH THE YOUNG POLISH WOMEN - MORE THAN 60% OF THEM ARE BLONDE AND BLUE EYED. THE SWEDISH GENE.

AN INFLATABLE DOG, BUT DON'T WORRY IT IS A PEDIGREE!

CHECK YOUR JAFFA CAKES! BE CAREFUL THEY ARE NOT, MISHAPEN AND FILLED WITH APRICOT.

WALK ROUND A PROPER POLISH MARKET AND LOOK AT a) THE PRICE OF BANANAS (2.99/KG RIGHT INSIDE AND 4.50/KG ON THE OUTSIDE TO GET ALL THE TOURISTS TO SPEND MONEY. b) THE NAME OF ALL THE VEGETABLES FOR EXAMPLE CHILLI PEPPERS ARE PILLY PILLY!

BEST QUOTE FROM PATRICZIA, OF THE SWEDISH GENE(!) OUR GUIDE AT THE SALTMINES, "ENJOYMENT OF THE TOUR IS OBLIGATORY"