SIGNS TEXT

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On another Septic Tank Truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company : "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window : "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home : "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station : "Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."