"I was just here... where did I go?" -- Fox Mulder, The X-Files, "Small Potatoes"

Mosquito repellents don’t repel – they hide you. They block the mosquitos senses so it doesn’t know you’re there.

Birds have the right of way on all Utah highways

"I started to accept the mess I'm in. I know that mess spelled backwards is ssem, and I felt much better armed with that information. " -- Tori Amos

"Bad spellers of the world... UNTIE!"


From Cracker, - "Dinner in oven, wife in australia."

THE TEN MOST REQUESTED FUNERAL RECORDS :
1. James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
2. Robbie Williams - Angels
3. Jennifer Warnes And Bill Medley - I've Had The Time Of My Life
4. Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings
5. Pie Jesu (Requiem)
6. Elton John - Candle In The Wind
7. U2 - With Or Without You
8. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven
9. The Police - Every Breath You Take
10. Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody

REAL NEWSPAPER ADS

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog... Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat... Been out a while. Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE:
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.