Typically Topical

THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS

Yeah I know a silly title and I apologise for that. Speed has always been a big favourite of WILKONEWS, partly because it is a good action film and a bigger partly because of Sandra Bullock. Suppose like a lot of other films of that genre made all the more fun because of the implausability of the whole thing. However these days the chances of it happening are really too real to even contemplate joking about the whole thing.
Dolmus is Turkish for 'stuffed' and that is why they call the mini buses that zoom around Marmaris and all the other Turkish coastal towns Dolmus. There's no Sandra Bullock and I doubt they could even do 50mph but they are always stuffed. You don't pay the driver, he just drives, you concentrate on getting on, then when relatively settled you pass the correct money up to the front and get a grunt in Turkish back as a ticket. Most of them are registered to take 15 passengers but very rarely do they have that few passengers. If in the event of having that few the space available is taken up with chickens or goats.
No don't laugh it's true. All the WILKONEWS staff have seen it with their own eyes and in Marmaris a town I am sure was really pretty before tourists discovered it. Everybody uses them, the locals to take their creatures to market, returning with water melons and eggs in little plastic bags, amongst other things. The tourists because they can't believe how many people they can hold, they're so cheap and they don't ever seem to finish at night, when they are still full by the way.
We got on the wrong one once and the driver did a u turn, dropped us off, did another u turn and carried on on his route. The year after we weren't so lucky and were left abandoned in the middle of nowhere.
The memories of Turkey come flooding back because right now all the world's media is concentrating on the area and some strange people not content with the wonders of dolmus travelling have tried to ruin the experience by putting a bomb on one in Marmaris. I know it won't be that easy but if you are going to the Turkish coastal resorts please still experience the dolmus, if for no other reason other than any alternative drawn up by politicians or whoever will be grossly expensive and not near as much fun.
Pictured below the afore mentioned Sandra Bullock and her co star Keanu Reeves both pictures from the film Speed