Saturday, August 25, 2007


Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt."Now you can intellectually handle the situation:
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc.

They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The Deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objection, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were still living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Shitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens Wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Daawg, Byrd, Hoarse and Bull.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", You can correct them!

"Listen not only do I know him I know his whole family"

This was originally published yesterday but becuse of some anonymous arse wipe and his comments, I republished it today. The original comments that you all made are in the first comment in the box!
Saturday's post of a you tube video entitled Golden Oldie will appear on Saturday night uk time!!


EBEZP said...


justawriter said...
LMAO....thanks for a good laugh Si! :)) T xoxo
7:56 AM
Mone said...
Hahaha, I've seen a lot of his kids around.
12:01 PM
EBEZP said...
Glad it made you laugh Tina. Laughing is good!

Hi Mone I think I've met them all now! they're all over the place!!
3:21 PM
Andy Looney said...
Simon, that's the funniest thing I ever read that I didn't write myself.
5:16 PM
EBEZP said...
Andy thanks and I didn't write that myself either!
5:43 PM
Autumn Storm said...
What else is there to say except Hahahahahahahahaha
6:25 PM
Pauline said...
I heard one of them was a distant relative of our Cilla, went by the name of Worra Lorra Schitt - appeared on TV quite often.
6:47 PM
EBEZP said...
Glad to make you laugh AS

Then there was Lorra Lorra wasn't there, the twin!
6:52 PM
Crabby said...
Oddly enough, one of the wives I am repeatedly forced to go out to dinner with is a Schitt. Those Schitt's know everything. And they'll sometimes talk until you disappear into the ladies room, run fast as you can and slam your head into a wall rendering yourself blissfully unconscious.
8:50 PM
EBEZP said...
Oh of course Crabby third cousin Schitt had a kid though lord knows how....Noahitall Schitt!
9:10 PM
Azzitizz said...
Don't forget that distant cousin, (crafty git changed his name by deed poll before I married him but I know it's him!) Dumm Schitt!
9:22 PM
EBEZP said...
Yes of course I always forget all the other Lancashire Schitts, wow there a lot of Schitts around isn't there?
9:25 PM
Jules said...
That was absolutely hilarious!!
9:57 PM
EBEZP said...
Then there were the Canadian brach of the family wasn't there Jules!
Moose and Maple!!
10:38 PM
cheekyfaces said...
Mate, I think I live near all of the schitts.
11:54 PM
EBEZP said...
Yeah it sounds like it cheekyfaces!
12:02 AM
Alekx said...
Wow that so answers a question that has been vexing me out of sleep for years.
You are my hero
7:02 AM
EBEZP said...
Thank you alekx always a pleasure to help you out!
7:45 AM

Palm Springs Savant said...

I think Dumb Schitt works at my office!

great post, it made me laugh

EBEZP said...

Hi Rick yes I think we all know a Dumm Schitt don't we?
Glad it made you laugh mate!

Chicky Pea said...

OMG, I can't remember my own name half the time you think I'll be able to remember who all the Asses married and who their offspring are? You give me far too much credit.

Very cute!

Chicky Pea said...

See, and I couldn't even remember it was the Schitt family and NOT the Ass family. See what I mean?

Pauline said...

Sorry to see their distant cousin Anonymous Schitt has been causing you problems. Have a great weekend anyway!

EBEZP said...

Hi Chicky Pea, nice to see you!
No wasn't Forgetful in the Ass family?
They were always sitting around but the Schitts well......

Pauline yes and his parents never married either!!
Good weekend yourself love.

The Grunt said...

This post is full of Schitt. Har!

EBEZP said...

Thanksfor all the Schitty comment Matt!