COFFEE TIME SPECIAL!

• "Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love." - Turkish proverbs
  
• "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons" - T.S. Eliot
  
• "No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness." - Sheik Abd al-Qadir
  
• "Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water." -The Women's Petition Against Coffee (1674)
  
• "Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavoured coffee, anymore, in this country? What happened with the coffee? Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee, huh? You can get every other flavour except coffee-flavoured coffee!" - Denis Leary
  
• "I like my coffee like I like my women- Black and Strong." - Paul Howell (2005)
  
• "I like my coffee the way I like my women -- in a plastic cup." - Eddie Izzard
  
• "I like my coffee the way I like my women -- covered in beeeeeeeeeeeees!" - Eddie Izzard again a couple of minutes later
  
• "I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee." -Flash Rosenberg
  
• "Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister." -Bob Irwin
  
• "Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." -Alphonse Allais
  
• "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." -Alex Levine
  
• "The voodoo priest and all his powers were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself." -Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995
  
• "He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something." - Josephine Baker
  
• "When we drink coffee, ideas march in like the army" - Honore de Balzac
  
• "Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover." - Robert A. Heinlein, Glory Road
  
• "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." - Paul Erdos, mathematician
  
• "Life is just one cup of coffee after another, and don't look for anything else." - said to be Bertrand Russell's last words
  
• "Coffee, which makes the politician wise/And see through all things with his half-shut eyes..." - Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock
  
• "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." - attributed to Abraham Lincoln
  
• "Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine lack" - Herman Friele
  
• "I like my coffee black, just like my metal" - Mindless Self Indulgence Shut Me Up
  
• "Do you want me to prepare a hypospray so you can absorb the caffeine more directly?" Neelix (Star Trek: Voyager Think Tank)
  
• "It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion." - Unknown (derived from Dune)
  
• "The influence of coffee in stimulating the genital organs is notorious." -John Harvey Kellogg (1877) Plain facts for old and young : embracing the natural history and hygiene of organic life.
  
• "I like my coffee strong and my women weak." - Alexander Pappas
  
• "Coffee is to wake up, coffee is to work with, coffee is to live with, coffee is life"
  
• "Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self." - Terry Pratchett, Thud!
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