THE LAW OF SOD!!!

12 LAWS OF INACCURATE PERCEPTION

SOD'S LAW, ALSO KNOWN AS MURPHY'S LAW. If anything can go wrong, it will.

O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW. Murphy was an optimist.

THE FIRST COROLLARY TO SOD'S LAW. Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment.

THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW. As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.

NON-RECIPROCAL LAWS OF EXPECTATIONS. Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

HOWE'S LAW. Every man has a scheme which will not work.

ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS. Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.

SKINNER'S CONSTANT. The quantity which must be multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get to give the answer you should have got.

LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY. An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

JENNING'S COROLLARY. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

BARTH'S DISTINCTION. There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types and those who do not.

NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES. The first 90% of the job takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90%.

FARBER'S RULE. Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.