Sunday, December 24, 2006

NEW? I DON'T THINK SO.......

The power of the media brings Powerisers in to the front room via Sky News.

While everyone who saw the report on these 'new' sprung stilts, probably was astounded by these mechanical beasts, the staff at Wilko News turned away and laughed. Been there, done that MAINMAN, PIPPA GIRL, RAFMAN and WKD were heard to say.......


IMPULSE KING has had his own for quite some time as avid blog watchers will already know.


As MAINMAN immediately 'googled' the instructor Kadir Altunas and found nothing he was set to thinking that maybe there is more mention on My Spaces all around the world of IMPULSE KING than there is of this unknown German.


Will somebody with My Space check him out for us?




Bounding Into The Future
Updated: 09:15, Sunday December 24, 2006
Having a spring in your step will never mean the same again - well, not while you're wearing the latest high energy fad called a Poweriser, writes Sky News reporter Derek Tedder.
Remember the recent insurance company television advert "because change happenz"?
Well if you thought the stubby spring loaded pogo sticks were only created for the commercial, you'd be wrong.
They're actually on the market and look set to become the latest action accessory for those who this year were riding skateboards.
Once you have used the tiny ratchets that help you secure Poweriser onto your lower legs, you're ready to walk, run and eventually bounce.
I was sent a pair two weeks ago in order to practice ready for my report on Sky News. Surprisingly, it took me just five minutes before I felt confident enough to take a couple of wobbly steps.
Within an hour I was nervously sprinting along the road. I'm not going to say just how many times I either tripped up or collapsed in a mechanised mess on the pavement, but I'm afraid it's a case of no pain, no gain.
The Poweriser lifts you just a foot or so off the floor - but what a different view of the world you enjoy when you have it on!

Once you have become confident enough to pick up a little speed you can take enormous strides. It feels like your using muscles you don't normally use, so a day or so after an hour of practice, you don't half ache.
We flew instructor Kadir Altuntas over from Germany to give me and the UK distributor, Richard Birchwood, a few lessons on how to stay upright and possibly to learn a few tricks.
Kadir can use the Poweriser like he was born with it on. He can do back flips and even jump over cars and high walls. All very impressive.
Mind you, even after a fortnight of practice and a couple of sessions of intensive instruction I didn't improve very much. It seems practice, practice and even more practice is the only key to prevent public humiliation.
It's hard to see how anyone could travel safely along the high street on a busy Saturday afternoon but at least it's environmentally friendly.
The only thing you'd be burning up would be calories.
IMPULSE KING IN ACTION!

FAVOURITE CAROL SINGER

Charlotte Tops Poll


Remember Charlotte Church the classical singer?
She was a cute little kid with an angelic voice.
You'd be forgiven for forgetting this image of the Welsh lass now she appears so frequently in the tabloids.
However, despite her move into pop and now into telly, it seems some people haven't forgotten the old Char.
In fact, she's whooped both Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue in a recent poll of the ideal Christmas carol singer.

According to a survey by chocolate shop Thorntons, Miss Church is the top choice for people wanting a private carol performance.
The least favourite option is Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole - who was beaten by Jordan and Peter Andre... but only by 0.1%.
The top six
1. Charlotte Church (27.9%)
2. Robbie Williams (26.3%)
3. Kylie Minogue (24.3%)
4. Gary Barlow (6%)
5. Katie Price and Peter Andre (3.4%)
6. Cheryl Cole (3.3%)

TRACEY BARLOW

ACTRESS KATE FORD IS VERY SHORTLY TO BECOME ONE OF THE MOST TALKED ABOUT SOAP STARS WHEN SHE COMMITTS THE MURDER THAT SHE HAS BEEN PLANNING FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW.


BELOW, DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?


TRACEY BARLOW FINALLY KILLS CHARLIE AND THEREFORE SHE DESERVES ONE OR TWO PIX TO BE POSTED DON'T YOU THINK?

Saturday, December 23, 2006

I GUESS THAT MAYBE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE SCARED OF HEIGHTS UNTIL YOU ARE UP THERE




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GREASY ITV........


ITV has unveiled its latest collaboration with Simon Cowell. In a brand new primetime entertainment series, ITV will be staging the biggest casting call the UK has ever seen to find the starring roles of Sandy and Danny for a new stage production of the worldwide hit musical Grease which will open in London’s West End in 2007. ITV will be filling summer nights with the search for two unknown performers to take the highly coveted roles of Sandy Dumbrowski and Danny Zuko. ITV today confirmed that the UK’s leading theatre producer, David Ian, will be a judge on the show and will also be producing the West End version of the stage show, together with producing partner Paul Nicholas. Simon Cowell said: “We’ve been thinking about making this programme for years. Grease in my opinion is the best musical of all time and I am incredibly excited to be given this opportunity.” Duncan Gray, Controller of Entertainment at ITV said: “Grease and ITV are a perfect fit – the hunt for the new Sandy and Danny to star in the world’s best known musical produced by the crack team behind the X Factor.”ITV also announced this week a new three year deal with Simon Cowell as a performer, exclusive to the channel until the end of 2009. Under the terms of his new ITV deal, Simon Cowell will be exclusively contracted to the channel in the UK and will be starring on ITV with a number of different projects including a fourth series of X Factor in 2007 and the UK version of Simon Cowell’s latest number one hit series in the US this summer, America’s Got Talent. The UK series, Britain’s Got Talent devised by Simon Cowell’s production company SYCO TV and co-produced with Talkback Thames, will see talents of all kinds invited to try their luck in front of a panel of judges including not only Simon Cowell himself, but also Piers Morgan, fresh from judging the show state-side.

PENGUIN BRAIN


3 Stages of man

The 3 stages of man:

He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.

TWAS THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"

Quotes

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

WELL WE ALL KNOW WHAT CURIOSITY DID FOR PUSS DON'T WE?

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THIS IS SUPERB, THEY CALL IT CLEAR TAPE ART




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SANTA CLAUS

A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "What's wrong with me? I'm afraid of Santa."

The psychiatrist said, "You must be Claustrofobic."
 
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D".

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes?
A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)

What's red and white and red and white and red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous?
Holly-wood.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?
Because snow man is an island.

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RURAL IDYLL



This rural hideaway from

LAYDEE NORTH EAST...

Looks really wonderful doesn't it?

Can you guess what part of the country it is?

No not North East!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A VERY INTERESTING PICTURE OF BODY ART

THEY ALL HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON BY THE WAY....
DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

EACH GIRL IS A DIFFERENT PINK FLOYD ALBUM!
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Garfield@Christmas

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

You mean John Laird?

JOHN LAIRD?
Now there's a surprise!

Google John Laird and the John Laird that comes out top is a democratic congressman in California.

Second is a shipbuider in Birkenhead

Third is a philosopher

Fourth is in the choir that sang on the Disney album "12 Days of Christmas"

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

BUMPER STICKERS AND OTHER TRIVIAL QUOTES

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
My god can beat up your god
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the more I miss it, the meaner I get!
Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
ANGER IS MERELY DEPRESSION WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM!
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Deep down, divers care.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don't Have Film

Monday, December 18, 2006