YOU MAY OR MAY NOT WISH TO KNOW THAT I WON A COMPETITION WITH THIS PHOTO WAY BACK IN TIME BUT I STILL LIKE IT AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL.
Well some of you may have already seen some of the changes, there still may be more to come...the other site that I was doing for local stuff and interesting stuff for Merseyside is not going to appear in that form but there may be a tabloid edition of Wilko News.
Thank you for the recent rummage through the archives - yes you know who you are and next time can you cut your finger nails, because I like it too much, there will be some archives reposted where appropriate. I'd love to have the time and patience to answer this as the wonderfully crazy ~d did on a recent blog but I'm sorry it just isn't going to happen. I will however attempt to link each person that commented but please if it all goes wrong don't shout at me!
Also don't forget that most of you have commented since and my comments are only on this particular post ok?
Lee Ann said... huh? haha... just kidding!I get you all the way! Other people in blogland know your name? Other people in blogland know what you really look like?hmmm!
Hi lee ann do I detect a touch of jealousy there?! First to comment as well! I had a secret bet with myself who would be first and I lost! Thanks for the visit you now know both. Are you a wee bit happier now?
Rebecca said...
I love your blog...It's save, funny, insightful, ( if that the correct spelling) put together nicely, colorful, witty, ...I'm just saying the same things over and over arent I...Anyway if your blog is anything like you, even a little, I think I would like you....I am the bits I put in my blog...I think...now I have something to think about...thanks alot man..ha ha
Becca they are lovely things to say, I'm ever so glad I've given you something to think about!
~d said...
I am SOOO doing this! Like soo doing it. I read yours thru. Twice. And now I need to 'escape' from what you said, so I can make an honest attempt at answering it "my way".♥~d
~d lovely to see you and thanks a lot. You read it through twice - brave girl! Your way is great, trust me! Oh and so thoughtful sending a code book to.........lovely touch you crazy woman you!
Malnurtured Snay said... I wish I wasn't awful at codes, I could figure it out ... or not!
A big thank you for starting this posting off Snay, it's been great fun to do and I think has brought our little community in blogland a wee bit closer which has to be good. Now I'm only going to say this once so let's see how many people are paying attention!
My son used to call me DADYO, rather sweet don't you think but once he got to about 15 - he's now 21 - it wasn't cool to call shout or address me as such so he added one letter to each letter in DADYO to become EBEZP! We did the same for the whole family so Tim became UJN and he himself became NBUU! (So what is his name?). We both still use it especially on text messages!
I have a small agency registered name - EBEZP PRODUCTIONS!
Big Pissy said... Your name is a code for a Cirque character maybe?Whatever it is, I like your blog...it seems very natural....like it's the real you coming across.My blog is EXACTLY how I am in real life.Only I cuss more in real life. ;-)
Oh so do I big pissy believe me! The guess on the code was close because the avatar is a character from a Cirque show who could well have had a name like that! Thank you for your kind words and your regular visits - much appreciated.
Always on the Move said...
I loved reading your blog and I'm proud to say that I do know some of those answers and they're all awesome and cute!!! I will be emailing you soon!!! I promise!! :oD! Within a day or two kay...I've just been super busy and all!!! lol, the endless story of my life!!!!Hope all is going well you "boring old Brit fart"!!! LOL!!!!!((((((((HUGS)))))))))
You really are too kind Kim and one of the most genuine people that I've had the pleasure to meet in this strange old blogland type thingy. Hugs returned by the millionish.
Jules said...
Huh? I think I'm lost. Eb, is that you?? Just kidding. I get you. I totally get you. It's good getting to know you! :O)
Hi Jules yeah it's me! It's equally good getting to know you and isn't it strange how the two Alberta twinnies posted at the same sort of time! Welcome as ever.
wmy said...
Being confident without being cocky is a gift!! Not many have it...good on ya! lol btw...I am all about the power too! hahaha
Hi wmy nice to see you! Confidence and power in spades, you've spotted it! You don't do bad yourself on those either.
tkkerouac said...
Great Post. I have pondered many of the same questions and hope to do a piece on this also.I think you are a very social, upbeat guy and I enjoy your insights.I regards to the thumbnail choices, I find them amusing, however, It is difficult to get to know the real person because of a thumbnail choice.I have chosen to stick to my toweldance avatar for now as it shows the real me.Your choice of uploads and what you discuss on the blog is also an indicator of who you are.I think I'm a mixed bag of tricks and chose to expose my whole life in photographs and as a result, my hits have steadily risen and I feel it is mostly due to the fact that my dysfunctional life in pics is a open book. Most of the spins on things and humour is who I really am.There are times when reading other blogs that I wish more would post photographs of their real lives. Being a visual person, I can relate to this, and, each photograph tells a story.Hope this answers some of your questions, I would like to continue this again...OX
So good to see you Tracey. So kind! You have been a big part in my inspiration, and I appreciate your comments greatly. I know that they are meant and the criticism is constructive. Thank you for all the help, visits and comments and long may they continue.
Ice said...
Well DUH... we love your ass... and your blog... thats why we keep comin' back!!!I think posts say a great deal about the person... for instance... mine are usually funny, shocking and sexy... all the things I am. Your blog really picked up since you started(or at least when I first starting visiting) the comments have grown which shows interest. Thats good. You are extremely likable... your comments and posts always make me smile :)I love your wit and sense of humour! You rock, my friend :)
Well Ice you told me once before not to let anyone else know that you are sweet but I'm sorry, you are and you deserve to be told! Thank you ever so much for everything including being sweet, your comments and your visits!
Pixie said...
Great blog, and even better you are a UKer, I dont mix with many of them nowadays ;)
Oh Pixie thank you, you can always mix with me! Your comments and visits are much appreciated.
jillie said...
EBEZP...where do I begin? Well let me tell you this...I look forward to your blog EVERY day and it puts a smile on my face and even gives me a LOL!You say what you want and I like that. It was the avatar that caught my attention on someone else's blog...just like everyone else's. You know for an ole Brit you say you are....I love ya!
Jillie that's such a nice thing to say and I do thank you! Your visits and comments add colour and crazyness to all the blogs you visit and mine is no exception. Thanks!
Ok it's been quite a week one way or another and it's so cold without my mask!
I've taken on board all your comments – yes all as anyone who might have clicked the E mail me link in the What do you think of my blog may have found! That wasn't my regular e mail address! However I'm very very grateful to at least one commenter who used that link..But BTW you've always been able to E mail me direct from my profile and indeed you are still more than welcome to do so!
Ok if I'm being a little vague and mysterious but you asked for it!
The general consensus of opinion was that I should unveil the mask, which I did and the odd ones of you, maybe all of us are odd, also suggested that the name was revealed which I did oh and by the way for those who haven't yet clicked THE REAL ME, it's on the side bar over on the right at the top! It's there to stay and I may add to it! Don't expect miracles though it's taken me long enough to take my mask off.
I will be forever grateful for all your kind comments, as I am grateful for the quality and value of the friends that I have made both before and since that posting! So much so I was going to put my links in order of preference!!! Welcome to WW3!! Then maybe put the Canadians together……Shit if you haven't a bit of an understanding of my Liverpool sense of humour by now, just what are doing here?!!
Somethings though will never change! Everyone of you reading this right now has given up a bit of your precious time to be here. Comment if you wish, I would prefer it but it's not mandatory and I will always be grateful for your visit and respectful of that time that you have given. End of. It's what you all deserve.
Then no one hears from me for like ages!
Shit what's happened to Simon? See already who's EBEZP anyway?
Maybe that was a retirement post……
Oh no it wasn't!!
On top of all that I've got a brand new laptop! By Monday all things will be returned to something like super normal – all your comments will have been answered and hopefully I will be visiting all my friends.
I'm not going to keep analysing all the things that were said by all of you but it has been a great revealing kind of exercise and a bit like everyone's blog I think it's a kinda ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION type of scenario, add bits here and there if you don't like it tell me but don't expect me to necessarily do anything about it.
After all it is my blog and I will do what I want!
Meanwhile have a great weekend whatever you are up to and more importantly, THANK YOU for visiting, now, in the past and in the future.
To some of my new found E friends – bear with me a couple of days. Ta!
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
I found this on Jules's site, who found it on Snays post you know how it is? But anyway it falls in line with what I've been thinking myself and it may be on your mind as well.
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours"
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?" Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France) "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?"
This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Now you know why they record conversations!
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power..................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
How To Shower Like A Woman:
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?
OK, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
OH MY GOD EBEZP HAS FINALLY CRACKED UP!
ALL THIS TALK OF MOTHER'S SUPERVISING YOUR SEX ACTIVITIES IN THE SEX LAWS POST ACTUALLY GOT ME TO THINKING, A STRANGE PHENOMENA IN ITSELF I MUST SAY, THAT TODAY APRIL 7, 51 YEARS AGO MUMMY EBEZP AND DADDY EBEZP GOT MARRIED, YES TO EACH OTHER!
MY DAD ACTUALLY ONLY HAD 3 DAYS LEAVE FROM THE MERCHANT NAVY TO GET MARRIED, AT LEAST SO I'M LED TO BELIEVE AND ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT THEY WENT TO HARROGATE FOR JUST ONE NIGHT.
AROUND ABOUT 9 MONTHS LATER - BTW I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU CALL ME IF YOU STICK TOO CLOSELY TO THE MATHEMATICAL EQUATION! - EBEZP ENTERED THE WORLD. SO IT'S WITH A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF ACCURACY THAT I CAN PREDICT THAT APRIL THE 7th IS MY CONCEPTION DAY.
DON'T FORGET SEND ME A CARD!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MUM - I MIGHT JUST LET YOU SUPERVISE MY BLOG FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO READ THIS!
OH AND DAD I KNOW YOUR WATCHING, EVERYTHING, HAVE A LAUGH WITH ALL YOUR MATES UP THERE AND SAY HELLO TO JOHN LENNON FOR ME OK?
